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A fake FBI logo in the middle, snowflakes in the background shaped like penises, festive text that says Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Bitches! Christmas Card

USA + Canada Delivery
Global Delivery
Personalisable

Estimated Delivery:

12/19/2025

2 cards for $7 or 3 cards for $10

Add printed cards in these bundle sizes and the best price applies automatically.

A fake FBI logo in the middle, snowflakes in the background shaped like penises, festive text that says Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Bitches! Christmas Card

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2 cards for $7 or 3 cards for $10

Add printed cards in these bundle sizes and the best price applies automatically.

Estimated Delivery:

12/19/2025

Materials & Packing

  • Printed on Glossy Card (5.5 x 5.5")
  • Comes with a Kraft Envelope

A fake FBI logo in the middle, snowflakes in the background shaped like penises, festive text that says Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Bitches! Christmas Card

Description

In this whimsical and cheeky Christmas card scene, picture a snow-covered, charming village nestled in a serene winter landscape, reminiscent of Norman Rockwell’s warm and nostalgic settings. In the foreground, an elaborate snowman stands proudly, wearing a classic FBI-style badge that humorously reads "Frosty Bureau of Investigation" emblazoned in bold, playful letters across its chest. Its carrot nose is askew and its hat is a mismatched combination of a top hat and a beanie, lending a quirky charm. The sky above the village is a vibrant twilight blue, dotted with twinkling stars and an array of snowflakes, each cleverly shaped like comical penises—a nod to Aubrey Beardsley’s whimsical detail.

Floating just below the starry sky, a fluffy cloud banner spells out "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Bitches!" in large, festive, swirling golden letters that shimmer against the backdrop. Nearby, a flock of jolly, rotund robins, styled in the spirit of Beatrix Potter’s animal illustrations, are suspended mid-air, chirping merrily and carrying a glittering, scarlet ribbon that trails along behind them. Inscribed upon this ribbon is the name of the recipient: "Fuck Bois", styled in Quentin Blake-esque, energetic brush strokes. This ribbon swoops playfully across the scene, weaving through the snowflakes and stars.

The village houses, reminiscent of N.C. Wyeth’s storybook illustrations, are festooned with lights, each glowing warmly through frosted windows, and wreaths adorned with bright red bows hang from each door. In the distance, a cozy scene unfolds in front of one house, with children bundled in scarves and hats, gleefully pelting each other with snowballs, captured in the dynamic and expressive style of Edward Gorey. A tall, resplendent pine tree, adorned with ornaments and a shining star on top, stands sentinel at the center of the village, its base surrounded by a delightful assortment of wrapped presents, each box exquisitely patterned and tied with opulent bows, inspired by the rich detailing of Maxfield Parrish.

This scene tells a playful holiday tale, where the absurd meets the heartwarming, perfect for sending festive cheer with a hint of irreverence.

Generated with these themes: A fake FBI logo in the middle, snowflakes in the background shaped like penises, festive text that says Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Bitches!.

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